There are many things that should not be done in the shower either because your wife will shout at you, you will end up injured or something much worse.

  • First comes bodily functions. These are in the ‘wife will shout at you’ category.
  • Practising your fire juggling. This may seem like a good place to get good practise in, but in reality, it’s a bit of a damp squib.
  • Any kind of lewd act. If you are married this is in the ‘wife will shout at you’ category, but also manages to get into the ‘good way to break a leg’ category.
  • Plastering the ceiling. This just isn’t going to work.
  • Anything involving electricity. Once again, in the ‘you will injure yourself’. Actually, it could be the last thing you do, so this is definitely something NOT to do in the shower.
  • Last and definitely most important: DO NOT LET SHAMPOO GET IN YOUR MOUTH! I cannot stress the importance of this one. It manages to get into all three categories. Your wife will shout at you for 1. eating the shampoo and 2. for the horrible faces you pull. If you swallow a lot, you could end up very ill and even if it’s only a little bit, you may involuntarily thrash around thus causing yourself further harm. And it gets into the ‘something much worse’ category as well.

For those of you who grew up in the middle of the last century, you surely remember having your mouth washed out with soap when you said something innocuous. Imagine that and multiply by about four to understand what it is to have shampoo in your mouth.
For those of you who have never had your mouth washed out with soap, just try putting a little bit of soap in your mouth and then multiply that discomfort by four to get the idea.

—–